let's be real

We are still here. Life has been busy.

Last week was a doozie. Things never go well when mama goes down. A migraine for 3 days got the best of me. Headaches are no joke. I literally could not keep going and was so thankful for David who took over dinner, baths and bedtime 2 nights in a row. 

We have all passed a mean cold around. And the last one to be taken down was this one. 

He is all stuffed up and can't breathe well. 

Which translates to he can't sleep well.

Which means I am not sleeping either.

(Message to mom last week):

And Collin just has drainage, he only throws up when he is trying to go to sleep. So we just rock. We rock for hours. And I pray. I know this is only for a season.

This was my message to David early the next morning:

Yes, the door was wide open. Let's just not let our mind wander to far with the "what ifs". Said some more prayers after that incident. 

Now, let's go back to that big glass jar that was broken. Remember that from the night before? While I was cleaning up from Collin, Owen found a cricket in the house….so of course he wanted to catch it and put it in the pickle jar. Then he wanted to let it go outside and somewhere in the process dropped the jar on our concrete floor in the kitchen. I was not mad about this. These things happen, I was glad he didn't cut his foot.

After everyone was situated, I cleaned up the glass and vacuumed the floor. When David got home the next day he re-vacuumed the floor to help make sure we got all the glass. Guess where this is going?

So we have a very active 9 month old who likes to put everything in his mouth. There are reasons most babies aren't mobile at this age. The next day Collin was toddling around and I noticed he had something in his mouth. I got him to open and it was bleeding. I tried to swipe my finger and hear "gulp". I kind of freaked out at this point. David wasn't home, he was taking a Christmas card picture for some friends. I called him 4 times. I called them. I called our neighbor who is a doctor…of course people don't answer their phones anymore! 

David got home and checked out Collin. He was fine. I was not fine. We called a friend who is an ER doctor, talked to 2 of David's attendings and the consensus was he would be fine. Apparently the things you would be worried about are a hearing aid battery or a straight pin. Everything else should be fine. Even sharp glass. This was almost a week ago, I have not found the glass..(I have looked), but I also have a perfectly happy baby which is a good sign. 

So that is life lately. I could have skipped over this and shown you happy pictures of the pumpkin patch, but sometimes I feel the need to show the imperfections. The harder times. God and I have been doing a lot of talking lately. And I am thankful I know he has us in his hands even on the hard days. 

(Collin after he pulled the tablecloth and bowl of soup right off the table.)

He keeps me on my toes... and keeps me cleaning.

life

Sometimes I am just not sure what to write, it is much easier to type about the fun trips, the pretty food, big milestones, and exciting events. But let's be honest, those things don't happen everyday. And the days that are tough are often not recorded.

I have been given the gift of typing up some of my Papa's writings. It truly is such a gift. He has written pages upon pages about his life. From when he was a little boy, to Army years, moving to Greenville and so on. What a priceless gift...and the awesome thing is, he is still here to talk about it with me.

The past week or so I have typed out the stories of how he was stationed at Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio, Texas for training just a couple of months after he and Gammy married. And then how he was then given orders from the Army to report to New York City where they lived for 3 years.

You know, that wasn't necessarily how they had things planned. He had just started his optometry practice, they were newlyweds and then they were far away from home.

They have both told me it wasn't easy being so far away, but looking back those are some of their favorite memories. They saw parts of the country they would have never seen, met some incredible people, and became more independent.

So here we are in Texas. Twelve plus hours from family and friends that have known us for many years. We are still finding our niche.

When you are a stay at home mama, there are days that are long. Days that require lots of grace and patience and prayers. Some days are lonely, some days there are tears, somedays you just want to hang out with your own mama or sit on your Gammy's porch and be filled with lots of love and laughter.

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing I would rather be doing. I love being a mama and being the one to shape and teach my son and provide a nurturing home. 

I love taking care of David and with the crazy hours and schedule that is always changing, we try to maintain as much stability at home as possible.

David has been working hard, last month was ob/gyn and this month internal medicine. I feel like next week should be the end of the month...but there are 2 more weeks ahead of us. He informed me these two months were the worst of block of intern year. I can say we both agree with that and are feeling it.

The quick advice is always, "it will get better, think how far you have come, it won't stay like this."

And I hear that. I know that is true.

But I also want to be real, I want to say that it had been a tough couple of months. 

 When a friend asked me how it was going, instead of saying "fine, we are good," I decided to really share.... and that is when God peeks through. When I admit that I am struggling a little bit. When I open up and say we don't have it all together, that is where truth is. That is where God is.

I don't say all of this to be negative, but it is our life right now and it is part of our story.

I firmly believe God is using this time to shape us and mold us and teach us and show us life is all about  bringing glory to Him and realizing He is the only answer in those times we struggle.

"My grace is sufficient for you. For my power is made perfect in weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:8

January highlights

I think January is a month that you try to get back on track or find a track for that matter. That is what it was for us. We did some organizing of closets, carpet cleaning and just tried to get home back in some kind of order so we could enjoy it.

Have you read this post about living intentionally? It really spoke to me and has so many truths. These are a couple of my favorites:

Take a moment all for yourself. Find a spot that speaks to your soul. Grab a cup of something delicious and hot. Light a candle. Do whatever you need to carve a bit of space for yourself, anything from waking up a few minutes early or letting the dishes sit in the sink. 

Choose to live slow so you can live fully alive where He has you. Beginning new habits of rest, sleep, quiet, reading, making beautiful meals will fill your soul and give you a feeling of satisfaction at the end of the day. On the other hand, checking Facebook one more time, reading all the blog posts in your feed, or tuning out in front of the television for hours  feels good in the moment, but leaves you with an empty feeling.

I think a big part of all the cleaning and sorting was because I want my home to be that safe place for my family, a place that nurtures them, a place we can learn, a place to sit and be still...where at the same  time life is full...and we get that fullness from the time we spend together. 

Here is a rundown of random pics: date night at Clay Pot, pinterest project for door, helping Daddy make a fire, grilled cheese and tomato soup which Owen loves, yogurt, crafts, my attempt to organize the closets in the playroom, dumplings, lots of bubbles in the sink when mom wasn't paying attention, and finally all of our Christmas cards compiled on a ring. A friend mentioned that they do this and pray for a family each week. So if you sent us a card, know we will be praying for you ; )

those days

Today was one of those days that things just don't go smoothly, really this week was one of those weeks...really this month/rotation was just rough on all of us.

It could be that Owen didn't get his nap, dinner was running late or Cooper ate half of the quiche I made or that I am missing my family just a little bit.

I think this rotation was just tough. David has been doing OB this month. Lots of long days and nights, nights at the hospital, hours at home sleeping. The past 3 weekends he has been gone and worked every weekday.

Owen has a strong spirit. He is a stubborn little thing. He has gotten his leg stuck twice this month in his crib...really stuck. He doesn't like to wear his pajamas and if he gets too much time on his hands he will take them off and his diaper and leave me surprises. Don't talk to me about a big boy bed, he just started sleeping through the night at age 2. These are daily battles.

I will say the strong will has worked well as for as potty training...so for that I am thankful.

It is these days that I cling to truth:

My grace is sufficient for you. 

For my power is made perfect in weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:8

I am weak, I see it. I need God and I need grace. I need to live in grace.

In those days where things don't go right, there are still plenty of blessings to count. Here are a few:

-a fun gift from Meme and teaching Owen his alphabet.

Women's Bible study at church, being vulnerable, new friends.

God's truths.

Hearing my precious son telling me, "God Strong!" when I asked what he learned about God.

Some coveted Daddy time and snuggles from my boy when all he just wants is his Mama.

 Learning to ride his strider bike and Caroline being named Homecoming Queen!

Those days, yes they can be long, they can be trying. But then God peeks through, through a conversation with a new friend, a Bible verse, or even a two year old's simple wisdom...God strong!

our reality

How has your week been? you might ask. Well, pretty good. We delivered books from Owen's birthday to the clinic and visited Daddy at work.

Speaking of David, he has been working nights since Wednesday. He has been taking care of very pregnant women and delivering babies for the past 5 nights. He gets home around 9:45 the next morning and this sweet face greets him with enthusiasm.

Then he tells him "night, night Daddy" and we let David rest.

We went to storytime at the library Wednesday, met some friends for a playdate Thursday and met with a playgroup from church at the children's museum on Friday.

I think one of the hardest things about moving to a new place is finding your new normal and building relationships...because it takes time.

With every new group of people, you start over again. You have to put yourself out there. There is a certain vulnerability to it.

I had a great conversation with Kira last night about life, about being mamas and wives and about this subject of making new friends. 

Kira knows me and she knows my heart. It is refreshing to reconnect with a friend like this when you are you are having a bad day...which I kinda was, not really bad...but lonely.

Back to meeting people...you begin putting yourself out there, which is necessary for real friendships to form. But it is exhausting. 

David is so much better at it than me. This is always something I have admired about him. David is so good at meeting people, making conversation, asking questions. He thrives and loves social situations.

I, on the other hand, love to hang out with people too but am just more introverted in nature. Don't get me wrong, I love to hang out but it takes more out of me. I can do it, but I thrive in small groups or one on one. And afterwards I must recharge. It's just how I am programmed.

So I totally stepped out of my comfortable box and went to a new small group tonight while David was  at work. (Thanks to a little encouragement from Kira) And you know, it was nice. Of course I missed my other half, but I met some more people from church had some good conversations, and it just solidified to me that we are making the right church our home. 

So in reality, we all struggle. We all have our insecurities. We all have things that are hard for us, doubts. As Kira told me, these insecurities can often keep us from forming relationships or cause us to miss out on something good. So I am trying.  

Thankful for a God who paves the journey and knits this tapestry of life together. I am learning to rely more and more on him every day. I think David and I both are, and it feels good.

intrigue

I started to write a post on car washing and then decided the Intrigue deserved a post of its own.

That's what happens when you have been around for 10 years. You earn a blog post.

 I got this car my senior year of high school. I was so proud of it. It was used but with low miles. It has leather and a 10 disc cd changer in the trunk (which I don't think I ever used once). It even has a sun roof (not currently in working order).

 When I got this car, Mrs. Taylor took our homeroom class (all 25 of us) to see it in the senior parking lot. This would only happen at our little school. I still think this is funny.

The intrigue has really been along for the ride. It took me between dance and cheerleader practice. Took me to Auburn. Took me on beach trips. Kept me safe in a couple of car accidents. Grad school in Montevallo. Trips back to Auburn to see David. Home to Greenville. First married years in Birmingham. First job driving to Chalkville. Huntsville and now Texas.

Poor Dr. Johnson proudly drives my car while I get the Acadia. It has had its better days, but it still runs. It definitely has its quirks.

Things you should know: never roll down the windows. They are rigged to stay up...they do not go down...except for the driver's side.

There are so many lights the shine on the dashboard...that should not light up all the time. David assures me this is ok...just a problem with the wiring.

It leaks on the passenger floorboard every time it rains.

When you hit a bump in the road, it switches on the tape player (yes, it has a tape player). Unfortunately the tape player doesn't even work, so you have to wait a while before it will let you turn the radio back on.

Be sure you check the oil frequently. I used to buy quarts at a time to keep in my trunk. I got to be a pro at putting oil in. When that low oil light comes on (because it will) feed that car some oil.

A terrible noise occurs when you turn on the air, but that is ok...we are just grateful the ac is working after a replacement and repair. 

It takes at least 2 times to crank every time. Sometimes a few prayers are necessary for it to crank as well.

 But it does its job and we are going to drive her until she won't go anymore.

One day David will get that truck he deserves. 

But until then we will see where the Intrigue takes us.

And in 10 years I hope Dr. Johnson has upgraded to that truck.

Bless him, he really will appreciate it.

a glimpse

We have been a little quiet this week. Owen began running a 103 fever last Saturday, so we laid low for a few days. His new tractor was about the only thing that cheered him up. When you have a toddler who just lays around....you know something is wrong. He perked up and we were able to get on with our week...that is until Mama went down.

Never good when Mama goes down. Running fever, pounding headache, achy, and no energy....that does not lead to a very good Mama or playmate for Owen. We muddled through somehow for about 3 days and today I felt much better. Good enough for us to go to the farmer's market for breakfast and meet the Baylor bears on Baylor's campus.

Only problem now is David's gone down. Can't shake his throbbing headache and is freezing cold...and everyone knows it is not cold anywhere in the country right now. I know all too well how he feels and he is convinced there is no way I felt as bad as he does : )

Here is hoping we rid this sorry virus and it takes no more culprits. We have fun plans for our week ahead and it does not include sickness!

life.

Life happens...

What can we say? In about 5 seconds, while I was slicing Owen's banana for his breakfast this morning, Owen decided to pour the entire bottle of laundry detergent out onto the floor.

Owen: "bubbles, bubbles"

Me thinking: bubbles?

So we began our day....

I will say Owen's bubbles on the table in pic below do look an awful like the bottle of laundry detergent.

But our days are filled with good things,

 Whether playing in the mud

or just hanging out...

Life is pretty good.

our real world

Here's what's going on in our our little world this week...

Little Bit is cutting teeth. One-year molars to be exact.

This is not fun... Not for him or for me.

Naptimes are a little rough and sleeping through the night is nonexistent now.

So we had enough and ran a little errand which might have resulted in Owen falling asleep in his car seat...which might have allowed this mama to take the change she found in pockets doing laundry to go get an iced caramel mocha from McDonalds.

Then we just did a little driving over the mountain which was good for my soul...peaceful.

The weather is throwing me off. Rain is good, but for little boys who like to play outside...we have had enough for a few days.

The cooler weather is nice, but I know it is not here to stay which throws me off bc it is just a tease.

David is coming home late tonight. Which means dinner date for me and my little guy. We are having leftovers....get excited!

We are super pumped to be going to Auburn this weekend. I don't think we have been in about 3 years...that is way too long. Excited for Owen to have his first trip to the plains and play with our friends there!

Also on the horizon is meeting our new sweet niece.

Come on weekend! We are ready for you!