finding joy

The days leading up to our beach trip had been a little stressful, as have some other moments in the past few months. I don't know why I let myself feel stressed. God has shown himself through this entire process of moving. He provides. He provided the residency program, the people, the realtor, the house, a good home inspection, lenders, moving company, etc. He provides. Why then do I let those little moments creep in or worry?

I got to finish a book I had started months ago sitting on the beach having a little alone time...which is a gift in itself. You have probably heard of the book, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. She has a very unique style of writing. It is a very thought provoking book and for some reason I had not been able to get through it until this week. And finally I really heard what she was trying to say, I got it. Maybe I wasn't at a place that I could really "hear" before or maybe my heart wasn't ready to let go of trying to do it all myself.

Why do I still feel stress? Why don't I have more joy in my life?

She brought to my attentions some important points, let me share some words from her book:

How can I help this son of mine when I can't see? The parent must always self-parent first, self-preach before child-teach, because who can bring peace unless they've held their own peace?

Practice. The discipline of thanks only comes with practice.

We don't have to change what we see, just how we see.

The secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt he is.

Stress isn't only a joy stealer. The way we respond to it can be sin.

"Don not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. "John 14:1

"Oh the joys of those who trust the Lord." Psalm 40:4

I can't fill with joy until I learn how to trust: "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace and you trust in him, so that you may overflow." Romans 15:13

The feeling of joy begins in the action of Thanksgiving.

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy" James 1:2

My own wild desire to protect my joy at all cost is the exact force that kills my joy. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control...let go of my own way, let go of my own fears. Fullness of joy is discovered only at the emptying of will. 

Counting his graces awakened me to how He cherishes me, holds me, passionately values me. I am empty because I am full of His love. I can trust. I can let go. 

Grace is meant to fall like rain...again, again, again.

So I am counting my blessings, each day, putting them in writing. So I can see them. So when I feel stress...I will remember.  He provides bread. His blessings overflow. Seek Him to be fulfilled. So I will learn to think differently and learn to see Him and be filled with joy. Hoping that joy will overflow and I will give grace again and again and again.

The beach trip was good for my soul. I even thought for a moment, why start something like this now in the middle of a transition. But I think that is just the perfect time. Take the discipline of finding joy with me, take that comfort with me, find his blessings everyday and give grace. 

I may share a few pages from my journal every now and then, but tonight I wanted to share the story behind it.